Monday, December 17, 2007

A Very Griswold Christmas

It all began with the house lights.
I wanted Rusty to put lights on our house because there was not an ounce of holiday cheer on the outside which made me seem very much like a Scrooge. I am not a Scrooge and I didn't want my neighbors to think I am a Scrooge. Not even the Crazy Dog Lady.
So, I asked Rusty to plese put some lights on the house, and he told me he'd have to get some light hooks first. Which meant spending money. Which meant, probably no. I asked him the simple questions, "Well, does your dad have a staple gun?"
He looked at me with a mixture of disbelief and humor in his eyes, trying to figure out if I was kidding. I looked at him with sad eyes, because I really wanted lights on the house.
"A staple gun? A staple gun? Who puts lights on a house with a staple gun?"
"Umm, my dad. And Chevy Chase, in Christmas Vacation. Remember, he staples himself to his house and then when his shirt rips he falls off the roof?"
Rusty continued to look at me with a mixture of disbelief and humor, still trying to figure if I was kidding. I continued to look at him with sad eyes. Then he told me the merits of hooks, and had to show them to me at Lowe's since I had never seen them before. We do not have lights on the outside of our house.
Now that I think about it, I'm really not sure that my dad puts lights on the house with a staple gun. I might have just absorbed the memory of Chevy Chase doing it, and assumed that it was my dad.

On Friday night at eight we decided it was time to get a Christmas tree, so we dragged Rusty's parents to Lowe's so we could use their car. After wandering around for a while we picked one out, a lovely Scotch Pine, six feet tall with only three gaping holes. As an added bonus, we got it for $10. Procrastination pays off. Rusty and his dad strapped it to the Blazer while Carol and I waited inside. It was raining, you see. Once we got it to the house and stuck it in the tree stand, we realized it was leaning pretty far to one side. Not ones to worry uneccessarily, we put the lights on and went to bed. The next morning, Rusty woke up and the tree was lying on it's side. The cats were acting more strange than usual so we assume they climbed inside it and knocked it over. Our tree is now tied with a red rope to two hooks in the wall. It has worked well as the cats have been in and out of the tree and it hasn't fallen again.

I'm just waiting for my crazy cousin Eddie to show up on the doorstep with his tin can RV.


Mario said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mario said...

*clears throat*
I would like to say something on behalf of those who DO use staple guns to fasten their christmas lights to their homes.

It is, and always has been, a very effective and perfectly sane way to put up christmas lights. In fact, not only does it serve as a much sturdier substitute then "hooks" *chuckles* but can also be used on many other objects that one may wish to attach to a house and or fence, door, cat, dog, etc...

Sadie, I mean no offense to your dear husband. I simply mean to represent such methods as perfectly logical ones. That is all.

P.S. Can you a hook support a 200lb.+ man? No I don't think so otherwise they would have used "hooks" instead of staples in "Christmas Vacation".


Anonymous said...


where do you think they got the idea to use a staple gun for Christmas Vacation?

and....there is no simple way to explain the joy in stapling a thousand lights to house every single Christmas season

Anonymous said...

oh yeah

Eddie might not show up at the door, but there is Aunt Bonnie, cousin Theresa, Cousin George, ...........

Sadie said...

Haha! I'll make sure Rusty reads this.
I knew Dad used a staple gun...

Rusty said...

they say you learn something new every day. i've learned mine. thou, i'm still not sure i'll be stapling lights to the house as i don't own a staple gun.

your friend alicia said...

my daddy puts lights up w/ a staple gun. what's the big deal?