Thursday, June 12, 2008

Naked Arms

Some people, when they don't wear a watch, say that they feel naked without it. Rusty says he feels naked if he doesn't have his keys in his pocket.

I don't wear a watch and I rarely put my keys in my pockets.

On Saturday I took Norah to the mall with my mom. I put Norah in the stroller, put my diaper bag on the handles of the stroller and then let my mom push her. I was thinking I would feel free, exhilarated by the ability to swing my arms however I chose to without the fear of whacking Norah's head on things, or jolting her unexpectedly and making her arms jump out and eyes get big in that really sad way. However, I was struck with this weird empty feeling. I tried putting my hands in my pockets, crossing my arms, putting my hands on top of my head...nothing worked. I just felt empty. And maybe almost naked without my Norah or my stroller or my diaper bag.

In a similar vein, I have no idea what to do with this baby who suddenly takes long naps during the day, having spent the past two months with a baby who prefers to nap thirty minutes every three hours and spend the rest of the day requiring mama to walk in a bouncing fashion all around the house. Not kidding, she's slept like a total of five hours today. I really don't know what to do with myself.

The free time! Is strange and foreign and feels a little like shoes that are beautiful but a size too big.

1 comment:

dawn said...

well, when we go to check out dresses this week, you can hold her and you won't have to feel naked. i swear, i'm not changing my plans this time. i think it's been like twenty two years since i've seen you.