Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

Oh hi.

Yeah we are back. And by back I mean, "We drove all the way from Arkansas to pretty much California, then up to the Grand Canyon, then to Bullhead City, and then, to avoid the freak snow storms that blocked our whole way home, we drove to within one block of the border of Mexico on our drive back to Arkansas. And, I left all my motivation for house and blog keeping right there on that Mexican border".

We had a good time. We got some really incredible pictures of the Southwest. I read The Devil Wears Prada and got a sunburn.

But spring break is not what I want to write about right now, because I don't have to energy to deal with blogger's absolutely stupid picture upload business. What I want to write about is that momentous occasion known as The First Birthday Party.

Do you know what a big deal this event is? Do you really know? Because I didn't. I had no idea there was so much involved in planning a party for a one year old. I mean...the always fun guest list shenanigans, the invitations, the decorations, the goody bags, the gifts, the cake, the all-important smashcake. And all these things must be orbiting around the infinitely important THEME.

You wouldn't believe how many people, when talk of First Birthday Parties comes up, immediately ask "So what's your THEME?" to which I respond "Er. Hmm. Uh..." This THEME is important business. I was completely drawing a blank on a cool THEME so I went to one of my professors who has a baby about a month older than Norah. I asked what they were doing for their baby's birthday and he told me all about the cool party themes he and his wife had come up with for their older son's parties. Then he said for their younger son's first birthday (the one a month older than Norah) the THEME was Pupcakes. They were doing stuff with Puppies. And Cupcakes.

Ha ha! Get it? Pupcakes?

If it hadn't been a relatively boyish THEME I would have just stolen it. But I have dressed my daughter in pink every day since her birth and I am not about to break the Frill-Fest with a Pupcakes birthday party.

Then I asked Jasmine what she and Garrett were doing for Isaiah's birthday party in June. They are having a Brobee themed party, from Yo Gabba Gabba!. I would have stolen that theme were it not for the fact that I have only watched 1.25 episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba! because I think it's weird and creepy and I really wish that shows like Ahh! Real Monsters were still on. I have not earned the right to host a Brobee themed birthday party. Alas.

So, desperate to make some kind of headway on this whole birthday thing and feel like I am not a failure at being a mom, I dragged Rusty to Target to get some Stuff. Any Stuff. Whatever birthday Stuff we could find. And finally I found my THEME.

Spring! It's perfect will be spring when it is Norah's birthday party because...Norah was born in the spring and...spring is pretty and happy! Hooray! We got some Stuff in bright spring colors, and none of it really matched because we are loosely tying the whole THEME around these spring-y napkins with butterflies and flowers but in Coordination 101 we fail.

I ended up with: two packages of invitations (which I never actually sent), two packages of napkins, one pink table cloth, one weird stripey table cloth that I have since returned, balloons, a banner, flowered leis, and some bendy straws. It has all sat in the Target bag on my table since we bought it.

Now, with Norah's birthday party just a few days away I was feeling the First Birthday Party pressure again and I went to order her cake. I took a THEME napkin with me so they could decorate it to match and I had every intention to get her a matching little smashcake too. Because, you know, the smashcake is essential to the First Birthday Party festivities. I successfully ordered the cake and was feeling very proud of myself as I drove away from Rick's Bakery, having completed a momentous task in motherhood, and with quite alot of stylishness, to be honest with you.

Three blocks later and Holy Crap on Burnt Toast! I completely forgot the smashcake! What kind of mother forgets the smashcake for her baby's First Birthday Party?! I mean, seriously. I drove a little further, mentally punching my own self in the face for doing something so characteristic of Me.

But I didn't turn around. And I didn't call Rick's in a panic, begging them to add a smashcake to my order. I just kept driving. Because you know what? Cutting off a piece of the real cake and putting it on a plate in front of Norah is going to have the exact same effect as putting a whole miniature cake in front of her. Except this way, we waste less cake which means I get to eat more cake. That sounds like a win-win to me.

I'm done with this First Birthday Party crap. This is who I am, Norah: bendy straws, uncoordinated decorations, and no smashcake. I hope that's cool with you.


Katie said...

This post made me laugh so, so hard. I have a feeling you and I are very much alike. Oh man. This cracked me up!!

wendy said...

if it makes you feel any better, since i was born on halloween, every birthday party i have ever been given was, you guessed it...halloween-themed (excluding one weird tea party i had when i was 9).

so to me, bendy straws sound divine.

Anonymous said...

Don't hate on Brobee.... you WISH you could be that cool!

philip said...

Way to go Sadie there is no need for the smash cake neither Chloe or Nathanael ever had one and I doubt you did. I like you theme most other themes are just a way to get you to spend more money

Erin said...

Wow. I didn't realize that I was *supposed* to do all of this! :) Emery's birthday is on the 15th. I have done nothing, I meann othingin preparataion. We'll probably go to the park. It's tradition in my family to have a smashcake. My mom told me that it had to have a teddy bear on it because EVERYONE in our family has had a teddy bear cake for their first birthday. I'm making cupcakes and arranging them like an alligator. That's it. No invites, no goody bags, No smash cake. Done. :)

Aidan and Zachary said...

I couldn't come up with the theme for Zachary's party either! So, since the party is the day before Easter we are having a birthday egg hunt! It is pretty much spring themed like yours and I have a feeling there will be other spring parties in his future!

dawn said...

i never had a smashcake! now i feel neglected... not really. i didn't even know there was such a thing. i've only seen smashcakeslices. i have a present for Norah somewhere around this crazy mess of a house.

Anonymous said...

dude, isn't funny how we think it's about the kid, when it's really all about me?

glad you figured that out at the end and didn't race back to rick's for smashcake.

you're the ONE sadie.