Sunday, June 28, 2009

Death Toast

This has been a terrible week.

Friday 6/19
I randomly threw up and suffered from various other intestinal issues that I won't describe. This was, of course, after a friend of mine had some VERY serious intestinal issues that required ER visits and whatnot. I, being the ever rational person that I am, decided that he had given me his illness through osmosis.

Saturday 6/20
Further intestinal issues

Sunday 6/21
Even further intestinal issues

Monday 6/22
You guessed it. Intestinal issues... Also, general laze and blah blahs. I felt EXACTLY like I did when I was first pregnant with Norah, so even though we were pretty sure that it was impossible that I could be a month or so pregnant, Rusty and I got a test anyway. It was negative. So there you go all you jump to conclusion-ers.

Tuesday 6/23
Perfect health! I cleaned the house! Which, I have to be feeling pretty glorious to actually clean the house. However, Norah was sick with a fever.

Wednesday 6/24
Norah and I both felt fine. I heard the Hallelujah Chorus, yes I did.

Thursday 6/25
We went to the Aquarium. They fed the sharks while we were in the shark tube and it was awesome! When we were in Houston, my marine biology sister explained to us how to tell if a shark was a boy or a girl. I'm pretty sure that all the sharks in this aquarium were boys.
Late that night I got a migraine. It kept me up from midnight to three., no matter what I did. Then I woke up at five thirty to get ready for work.

Friday 6/26
So technically the migraine happened on Friday. When I got up at five thirty I took some Excedrin and a took a hot shower and by the time I left it was mostly gone. My voice was inexplicably hoarse and manly, but I could sit up without feeling like my brains were going to pour out my ears so I didn't really care.

I went to work, the boys were crazy, we got a flat tire and I had poop water thrown on me. But that's a different story. Not related to my illnesses.

Saturday 6/27
I woke up on midnight to Norah's screaming. She screamed for a few minutes, then let out an enormous burp and several farts and she was fine. She did sleep in our bed though, and randomly slapped and kicked me in the face all night. I know this because I was awake most of the night.

First I had the chills. Awful terrible shakes like I had when I was in labor. I got up, put on some fleece pants and two blankets and slept on the couch for a while. Then I woke up an hour later pouring sweat. I took off the blankets and the pants and looked for our thermometer. I only found the stupid forehead one that does not work. I used it anyway and it said my fever was 101. However, that thing is so erratic it could have been anything. I went back to my bed because we had two fans going in there.

The rest of the night was spent with alternating fever and chills, another migraine, coughing and lots of nose running. Punctuated with sweet little Norah kicks and punches. I finally fell asleep around five and then Norah had the audacity to wake up at 7:20! This, from the kid who usually gets up around 9! Rusty took care of Norah, which was very kind of him given that I felt like death.

I spent the rest of the day feeling like death with thick bright green lava snot and absolutely no voice. For someone who spends her whole life talking, to others or to herself, lacking a voice is pretty tortuous. Around 3:00 I concluded that I either had the swine flu or a sinus infection that was going to work its way into my brain and kill me. Either way I was doomed. After confirmation from my mom that I was probably dying, Rusty took me to the convenient care clinic. They poked around for a bit, were confused about why I was whispering, gave me another pregnancy test (still negative conclusion-ers!) and then THEN! decided it was all a case of bad bad allergies.

I got a steroid shot in my butt! They said it was my hip, but I know the difference between my butt and my hip and that needle did not go into my hip.

Allergies shmallergies. I'm still putting my money on the swine flu or a deadly brain-bound sinus infection.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Cantaloupe Liars

When I was in high school, my mom let Sara and me paint our bedrooms. We got to pick our own colors and during Spring Break we spent the entire week stripping wall paper, fixing ceilings and painting. It was incredibly hard work, harder than any of us expected because the floral wall paper that covered all the walls had spent the last decade baking in the New Mexican sun so that it was nearly impossible to remove. I think my mom still gets the twitches when she thinks about that wallpaper.

It was really very cool of my mom. I'm sure there were many other rooms she would have liked to paint and re-do, but she let us do ours instead. And Sara and I were both really excited about our rooms.

Sara picked a lavender for her walls, and a pale yellow for the trim. I picked royal blue for the walls and a bright gold for the trim. Sara's looked great with her bed spread and room decorations. Mine looked like a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese box.

So after that fiasco, you would think that I would have realized that I don't have the best eye for room color. But then, not too long ago, I picked this awesome grassy green color for my living room wall. It was a raging success in the Perkins' house. It is so fabulous, in fact, that it prompted Norah to speak her first sentence. When she woke up from her nap on the day I was painting, I brought her in to see and she said, "Mama! You are a color genius!", perfectly pronounced. ; )

I admit. After that I was a little over-confidant about my color picking skills. Me and my pompous self began eyeing the kitchen. And, at the same time, Amalah wrote about her kitchen as well. And when she mentioned a cantaloupe color I all but skipped to Lowe's, for BRILLIANT! A cantaloupe colored kitchen would be perfect! The pale orange would look great with my green wall and with my cabinets. I logged onto Valspar's website and found the perfect paint color. Cantaloupe Smile.

I have a problem with paint color names. I get distracted by them. Cantaloupe Smile sounds so perfectly orange and sunny and...cantaloupy. I mean, come on. The green in my living room is called La Fonda Plaza Green, and it turned out great, so surely a paint color named Cantaloupe Smile would be great and ORANGE. And to be honest, if they had named that paint Road Stripe Yellow, which would have been more accurate, I would have stayed away from it.

Rusty told me in the store that it was yellow. But I didn't believe him. It was called Cantaloupe Smile for pete's sake, it had to be orange! Sadly, from the first brush stroke I was unhappy. Even more sadly, I continued through two full coats, telling myself it was orange and it would grow on me and I would end up loving it. It never happened.

I woke up the next morning and walked into the kitchen and announced I hated it. I was going to re-paint the next day. So I went back to Lowe's, gave in to the experts and went with a nice blue shade that would bring out the orange color in my cabinets. Bah.

And I love it. I really do. It's so calming and mellow and not road stripey. And it's called Cincinnatian Hotel Lindner Blue. A perfectly respectable name.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Its Dorothy's Fault

Last night, after a delicious dinner with friends and a coffee run with Jasmine, Rusty and I were unwinding. He was playing Soduko on his phone and I was reading Snow Falling on Cedars. (So good!) We were happily laying in bed absently listening to the news when the weather guy broke in. Both of us put our full attention on the TV because it is June in Arkansas, still considered tornado season, and we could hear the storm outside our windows. We were listening to the storm update when the tornado sirens started wailing.

I. Hate. That. Sound.

I can't think of many things that scare me more than the tornado siren. The siren signals serious business, more than likely someone has sighted a funnel cloud. Its wail tells you to get your butt in gear, no goofing off, in case the storm comes and tries to knock down your house. Even on a perfectly clear day, when the siren going off is just a test, it freaks me out. My throat tightens and I start to feel sick.

So last night, when the siren sounded, we knew it was not a test. Both of us jumped out of bed and ran to get things ready. I threw on my shoes and started tossing things into the bathroom--pillows, blankets, diaper bag, cell phone. Rusty grabbed Norah as I was getting the pillows from the bed and then the sirens stopped. We settled down, sat back in bed, and waited for the storm to pass. Norah slept in our room last night because I am mildly crazy and would not have been able to sleep if she had been all the way across the house, just in case another storm came in the night and knocked a tree onto her bedroom.

It was a dramatic half hour.

And just now, we are waiting out another storm, this one producing tornado warnings in the county south of us. While I'm not hiding in the bathroom closet (yet), that last clap of thunder was so loud it shook the pictures on my walls and nearly make me throw up my dinner.

Again I ask: Why do I live in Arkansas, so close to Tornado Alley, and not in some safe place like Montana?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Its Worth a Thousand Words, Right?

So, quite a few things have happened in the past few weeks. But I don't really want to deal with all the words today, so I will update with pictures instead.
First, I graduated.

The Cranky Mommy Club!

Family :)

Sara also graduated! Mom was so proud of us.

Tristan and Norah bonded over goldfish and Sesame Street.

The beach!

The end.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Dear Equate Allergy Relief,

I hate you. You are useless. You promise 24 hour relief from sneezing, ithcy/watery eyes, runny nose and itchy throat. Instead, you give me a painfully dry throat...and that is all. Instead of allowing me to open my windows and my new screen door, you make me keep them closed in order that I may breathe.

Piece of junk.

Sniffles and Hatred,

Monday, June 1, 2009

You Know You Want To...

So Jasmine and I have this new project. And when I say "Jasmine and I have this new project" what I mean is "Jasmine has been doing lots of work on this new project while I have been lazing about eating cookies and painting walls in my house green".

Its pretty sweet. We have this blog, a joint blog, and if you know the both of us then you can only imagine the shenanigans this blog will witness. I am very excited.

So go to The Brokins and let us know what you think!